I feel so dirty.

Today is a day that I have been looking forward to for a long time. It is the release date of The Eagles new album, Long Road out of Eden. It's their first album of all new material since The Long Run.

Now I love The Eagles. A lot. I wrote my entire first novel while listening to their music.

Who knew that this wonderful day would be tainted.

So I go out this morning in search of this new treasure. I'm at Target right after it opens. And nothing. They've never heard of it. It's the same story at Best Buy, Sam Goody, Borders, and Fred Meyer.

What's up with that?

The biggest release of the year and nobody has it?

Then it hits me. I saw an add on the net for Wal Mart. I knew they had it there.

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate Wal Mart. A lot. I am a lonely crusader against the evil empire. I yell "You SUCK!!!" out my car window every time I drive past.

So I go there. Sure enough, I find the CD. Right there on the label, it says "Only at Wal Mart." My need of the CD overrides my conscience. I buy the CD.

Now I feel like I just sold my soul, or at least a little part of it, to the devil. I have also lost a little respect for The Eagles for signing an exclusive deal.

I don't know. Did I sell out? Am I less of an upright person because I took the only deal in town? Did I compromise my standards with a lame justification to get something I wanted?

The record is good, but I still feel dirty.

Thought for the day -

The world of situational ethics is a tricky one.

Thanks.

I was feeling like this...And even a little like this...Now I'm more like this...

Thanks to Drew's Crew for all the kind words.

Thought for the day -

Life is short. Have fun now. You can always work later if you really want to.

So that's what they mean when they say that.

For a long time now, I have used two phrases without really understanding what they were all about.

'The show must go on.'
'Suffering for my craft.'

On Friday, I was at the theatre getting ready for the 8:00 show and started feeling a little sick. Not nervous sick. Barfing, blow it out both ends sick.

You will need a little information about to understand what this means in my case.

I have Crohn's disease. I have had it for 26 years. As a result, I have a colostomy bag. I also am very in touch with what my body is doing. When I get sick, I deteriorate rapidly. Very rapidly. I dehydrate to a dangerous level in a big fat hurry.

In normal circumstances, I would go home and rest. If It doesn't get under control by morning, I go to the emergency room and get loaded up on fluids.

But I'm in a play. I have a lead roll in a play. I have no understudy. I am on stage for the entire show.

So I go through with it. I'm sitting there trying not to throw up while dehydrating away. And no even knows. I guess I'm a pretty good actor.

After the show, I go home, puke, and then drive myself to the ER.

Things were going along like they usually do until they got a look at my blood work. It turns out that one of my levels was a bit out of whack and they wanted to admit me and do a few unpleasant tests.

I tell them that that's OK, but that I'm leaving at 4:00. The doc tells me that they need to see the test results before they let me go.

I start laughing at her. She asks me why I'm laughing. I tell her that it's funny that she thinks that it's up to her. I was going to be leaving at 4:00 with or without her blessing. The only thing she could tell me to do was not to drive because of the drugs they had given me. Really good drugs, if you know what I mean.

I fully intended to pull the IV out of my arm and walk out of there if I had to. It would have been like a bad TV show.

I did my best to make myself unpleasant and a nuisance so they would be happy to be rid of me.

It turns out that all of the tests were negative and I was discharged in the regular fashion.

That night I give another stealer performance on two hours of sleep, filled with IV fluids, some good drugs , and a lot of prednisone.

I rounded out the weekend by doing the Sunday matinee and watching my beloved Steelers go down to defeat.

A pretty full weekend.

Thought for the day -

'I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross.' - The Breakfast Club

Bonus thought for the day -

'There's a fine line between tough and crazy. And you're flirting with it.' - Remember the titans

Write on!

So anyway, I had this great idea for a new book. I wrote a killer (Does anyone say killer anymore?)first chapter and had the plot worked out and was ready to roll.

Then I got the part in the play.

You see, memorizing lines takes up a large part of my very small brain. I have to devote all cerebral function to learning my part.

So, off to the back burner goes the book.

This week I finally was able to take computer in hand and get back to work. Woo hoo! I wrote a whole page the other day.

I know that one page doesn't seem like all that much, but for a person that spent the first 38 years of his life hating writing and telling himself that he was no good at it, it's a pretty big deal. It feels really great to be back at it.

Thought for the day -

You can't climb the mountain if you never get off of the couch.

Three down, six to go.

Thanks to all of Drew's Crew for the well wishes. It means a lot to me.

Well, I got through opening weekend. It was close. I slept for 12 hours Sunday night. My body has a bank on energy. Hell week and three shows mean a lot of withdraws and no deposits. Such is life on the stage.

Opening night rocked! Normally, the first show is where all of the mistakes happen. It's where the kinks get worked out and everyone is a little nervous. Not so with this show. We started smooth and rolled right through. It was awesome.

On night 2, we had a full house (over 50 people), which is rare for this company. The energy was high and we were shining.

The Sunday matinee was another story. We had more cast members than people in the audience and we were tired. We were flat, lines were dropped, and it was a relief to get it over with. I hate it when I don't bring my A game. If someone if paying to see me, they should get my best stuff. That didn't happen on Sunday.

Oh well, Friday is another show. I should be well rested and ready to go.

Peace out.

Thought for the day -

Awake is the new asleep.

Feeling alright on opening night.

We had a great full dress rehearsal last night and are ready to go. Lots of adrenaline.

Thought for the day -

If you're not having fun, what's the point?

Hell week.

This is tech week (or hell week) for my play and I'm tired and busy. Friday is opening night and we are ready to put on a smoking show.

Peace out and I'll see you on the other side.

Thought for the day -

I'll rest when I'm dead.

Hmmmm...

What do you think they're selling at this store?

Have a great weekend.

Thought for the day -

Always make sure to have someone proofread your work before you publish it.

A blast from the past.

OK, this is kinda weird.

A couple of Sundays ago, I was sitting in the church office checking the Pittsburgh Steelers score, and this woman comes in and tells me that she knows me. It turns out that we went to church summer camp together in high school. How cool is that?

She said she knew it was me after I had said something smart alecky during church. Yeah, whatever.

And then yesterday a get this anonymous comment from someone who knew me in high school. Totally far out!

Hey Anonymous, who are you? We had a student body of 1500 so I can't even guess. If you look at the other comments, you will see another JHS survivor. (DB)

BTW, Nick and I were best men at each other's weddings.

Thought for the day -

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.