Thursday, March 27, 2008

To Phoenix Arizona all the way from Tacoma.

All of the anticipation and preparation is almost over. Tomorrow, I leave snowy Seattle (Yes, it's been snowing here this week) for sunny Phoenix, the Grand Canyon, and Vegas Baby. Twenty four hours from now I plan to be sipping on a drink with an umbrella in it at Margaritaville in Glendale Arizona. Life is good.

However, the best laid plans...

I was just informed that the water main that feeds Phantom Ranch in the canyon is out of service. That means no shower after I hike down. This is no hardship for an old time backpacker like me.
I will try to send updates if I can find the time and the Internet cafe.

Have a great week and peace out.

Thought for the day -

No matter how many ways you try, there's really only one way to wear a pair or underpants.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Just something to think about.

While I was on my training walk today, I got to thinking. If the print, audio, and visual media are our guides, then the advertisers should be reflecting the biggest problems we face in this country. My observations of advertisements indicate that we, as Americans, face three huge issues.

1. Erectile dysfunction.

2. Obesity.

3. Our television screens are too small.

OK, now lets look at Uganda. They don't need advertisers to tell them what's wrong. They also have three problems.

1. They don't have food.

2. An enormous AIDS epidemic.

3. Someone is always trying to kill them.

Just something to think about.

Thought for the day -

Is it just me, or are our priorities a little mixed up?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Unitarian dancing and an emergency room visit

I will never forget my mother's birthday again!

For several years, my mother has been wanting me to be the DJ for a dance that she wanted to put on at her Unitarian church. I love being a DJ and do a pretty good job at it, but I would rather crawl naked through an iodine coated cactus field than do this for my mom.

Now, I love my mother and enjoy spending time with her. But when she takes on a project, like a dance, she gets unrealistic grandiose ideas of how to do it. I knew that she would try to put on eight different kinds of parties at once. I also knew that she would email or call me about the dance every three seconds. Therefore, I have always refused.

To make a long story boring, I forgot her birthday last October. I was in a play and in the hospital and I just missed it. I know, bad Drew! :(

To make up for missing the big day, I told her I would DJ the dance.

All of my fears were confirmed. It was like hell, but without all of the good parts. She wanted a sock hop, swing, fox trot, waltz, tango, polka dance with music from the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's. The song list she put together was too long and had song that you couldn't dance to. 'Hey Jude' and 'American Pie' are not dance tunes!

It took weeks, but I finally convinced her to limit it to a swing/sock hop dance with tunes from the 40's, 50's, and 60's.

I was looking forward to Saturday. The torment would be over.

But it appears that I had done something to really p*ss God off. Thursday, I got an abscess on my rear end. My left cheek was causing me great pain. (I know you all are going to have a great time making 'Pain in the *ss' jokes in the comments for this post.) By Saturday, I knew I was going to have to get the boil lanced. (On a side note, doesn't 'Lance the Boil' sound like the name of one of King Arthur's knights?) With emergency room times being unpredictable, I decided to wait till after the dance.

The dance went well. You could say that I did a 'Stand up job' as DJ.

So after the dance, I go to the emergency room.

It's really a bad sign when the doctor who is going to be cutting on you tells you he is very busy and in a hurry.

He injects the 'area' with numbing agent and says 'Sometimes it doesn't work on inflamed tissue."


With basically no pain killer, he starts to cut. Apparently he went out to the parking lot and ripped a rusty hunk of metal from the front quarter panel of a 1974 Pinto to use as a scalpel. And, just to show off, he did the whole thing blindfolded.

After about three and a half years of slicing away at my hind parts, he tells me he has opened up all the puss pockets. (I think I saw 'Puss Pockets' in the frozen food section last time I went to the store.) Now all he has to do is insert a drainage probe. I have no idea where he found one the size of a horse's leg. He jabbed it in with all the tenderness of a NHL full body check.

Patti, that howling you heard early Sunday morning was not coyotes on the west Texas plains. It was was me,up here in Seattle, expressing my displeasure at the discomfort I was experiencing.

Having caused me as much pain as they could, the emergency room staff went to work on my dignity. In order to get the wound dressing to adhere to my back side, the nurse needed to shave part of my butt. Seeing that I had some small shreds of self respect remaining, she then informed me that the area had to be able to breathe. I couldn't wear my pants! I had to drive home in hospital PJ bottoms.

The good news is that I went back today to have the dressing removed and it looks like everything is going to heal up quickly. Thank goodness for small favors.

Thought for the day -

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

A grand adventure.

Before I get to today's topic, I would just like to state for the record that I am the king of 'Small group fun night' at my youth group. The Nerf dart gun war was a ginormous success. Yay me.

Now here is the low down on why I am torturing myself by walking five and a half miles a day for the next four weeks.

At the end of this month, I am going to climb, solo and with out the aid of supplemental oxygen, the tallest canyon in Arizona. And for an encore, five days later I am going to lead a team on an ascent of the lowest basin in North America.

For spring break, Sweetie Pie and I are going to the Grand Canyon. We are taking my father in law along because he has always wanted to go there and my mother in law is not big on traveling, so he has never had the chance. Neither he nor Sweetie Pie want to go through the pain to go to the bottom of the canyon, so I'm going alone. Don't fret none. I'm a very experienced backpacker and the trails are well traveled. The main danger I will face is getting run over by other hikers if I stop to tie my boot lace.

I will be descending to the canyon floor via the South Kaibab Trail. The next day I will hike up on the Bright Angel Trail. My accommodations for the night will be in the Phantom Ranch. I will be enduring pain (I have arthritis in my knees) and seeing wonderful things. Sweetie Pie will have to endure the pain and hardship of having to listen to me whining for a few days and boasting for several years.

After our stay at the south rim of the canyon (in the Yavapai Lodge), we will be on to Vegas Baby! From there we will visit Death Valley (Bad Water Basin is the lowest point in North America) and Hoover Darn.

It looks like a pretty full spring break. Old guys gone mild!

Thought for the day -

Because it's there.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Drew's stew.

I've got several things to talk about today, so it's time for another edition of Drew's stew.

First off, thanks a whole heap to all of Drew's Crew for all of the prayers and well wishes. They meant a lot to me and to Rex's family. His memorial was Saturday and was truly amazing. So many people came that our church sanctuary could not hold them. We filled the foyer with chairs and still it was standing room only. It was a moving testimony to how many lives Rex had touched in just 51 years. The service could have gone on for hours because of all the people wanting to share their memories.

During the service, I was standing (I won't sit if a lady is standing) in the back of the foyer and I looked out side. It started to rain, but only on half of the parking lot. There was a line down the middle, rain on one side and sunshine on the other. Sorrow and joy from God. It was very cool.

It is always great to be at a memorial when you know that the person was right with God. Rex loved the Lord and is with him in paradise. And he left the world a better place than it was when he started. I will miss him until we meet again on the other side.

In other news, on Tuesday I received more proof that my family is just a front for a stand up comedy routine. My brother called me and asked me to be the officiant for his up coming wedding. At first I thought that it was because I am the guy in the family who has God's phone number. Turns out, not so much. What happened was that the first guy he asked said no and since I'm an actor, he thought that I could do a good job. I was honored and thought that it would be cool. I've done a eulogy and this would be a nice bookend to that.

I told him that I would get the licence and do it, but I would have to mention God. Marriage is and institution that God made and I can not overlook that. My brother is not a big fan of God, so now he's thinking over the offer. I'll keep y'all posted.

Next, I'm a little sore because I started training today. Training for what? Well, I'll be posting about that soon.

As you know, I do not like working out. Any exercise I do is purely by mistake. But, I need to be ready for what I am planning to do. So, I'm walking five and a half miles a day. I'm counting on y'all to hold me accountable.

Check out these videos. Chris (The dude giving taser instructions in the second one) has been one of my best friends since jr. high school. It's in several parts, so watch them in order. Trust me, it's really cool.

Lastly, I went to Toys R Us and bought all (15) of their Nerf Maverick dart guns. Tuesday night is a fun night for the youth group and I am in charge of the boys. We are having a Nerf war. I have not told them what we are doing and they are not very good at getting information out of me. I'm always telling them to read my blog, but they never do. Ha ha ha on them.

Thanks again for all of your support. Peace out.

Thought for the day -

The Steelers paid too much for Big Ben, but I'm glad they signed him.